


Perchance to Dream

by LittleMouse



Series: Dreaming... [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, Psychological Torture, Torture, Violence, a little bitty bit of sap, a mild lemon, and only one POV, occasional feeble attempts at humor, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:12:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMouse/pseuds/LittleMouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things in his past that he thought he had buried. Thought they were behind him. He was so wrong. Now Wufei’s trying to deal with having the same nightmare, over and over and over. Maxwell isn’t helping.  Or he doesn't seem to be.  Then things just go from bad to worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

"To sleep! perchance to dream-  
ay, there's the rub."

\--From  _Hamlet_ (III, i, 65-68)

\--William Shakespeare

 

 

 _Water_.

 _Water all around him_.

 _Water making his loose hair float ina cloud around his head_...

Wufei gasped and sat up straight, jerked from much-needed slumber by images he’d thought forgotten. He hadn’t had that dream in over a year, not since he’d accepted his place as the pilot of Nataku, leaving behind everything familiar...

This was all Maxwell’s fault.

Wufei grumbled and rolled over, pounding his pillow into submission.

Only Maxwell would have thought of something as asinine as a ‘pool party’ to celebrate the end of a long, hard mission. Quatre and Trowa and, surprisingly enough, Heero had enthusiastically agreed - well, Heero’s grunt had been a bit more interested than usual - and had joined in the planning. While Wufei had barely begun to register the words ‘pool party’, it had become a pool party _and_ a barbeque with plans for card games, drinks, and frivolous things to keep them out long after dark.

And Wufei couldn’t think of a single reason to avoid it without alienating his teammates, which would never do. They needed to be able to work together.

So he’d gone to the pool at the appropriate time, wearing his tank top and a pair of loose, baggy shorts. He’d eaten the strange ‘barbeque’ food - surprisingly good - played the games and swum a few laps to make sure he still remembered how to swim.

One never knew when that skill would come in handy.

He’d thought he’d gotten through it all right - not one of the other pilots had seemed to notice anything off about his behavior. He’d been almost disappointed when the evening ended. They had few such times to relax and not worry about the war. He’d gone to his room and was tired enough to go straight to sleep...

And dream.

And now he wouldn’t sleep the rest of the night.

And he’d blame Maxwell for it, so he wouldn’t have to think about who was really to blame...

 

 

*

 

 

He splashed water on his face and tightened his ponytail, scowling at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes looked tired, with dark circles under them, his face drawn and harsh.

Easy to tell he hadn’t slept last night.

Good thing it was still early. No one would be up. He’d already checked his laptop for missions and found none. Now he would just get enough food to keep him satisfied, and spend the day in the woods with his katas and his meditation. Hopefully, he would find enough balance to be able to rest tonight.

The safehouse was quiet as he ghosted his way down the hall, past the closed bedroom doors. Heero and Duo shared a room as always, while Quatre and Trowa did the same. He wasn’t sure and wouldn’t dream of asking about the relationships that went on behind those closed doors - it was private and they didn’t do anything in the open to clue him in, so he assumed they wanted it kept private.

Was there even anything to keep private?

Did it matter?

Yes, because it was distracting him from thinking about the damn dream!

He entered the shadowy kitchen and went straight to the refrigerator, taking out some bottled orange juice and sandwiches that had been left over from last night. He tucked them into a small, insulated lunch bag and left, his sword already in place on his back.

 

 

*

 

 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been practicing when he felt eyes on his back.

He’d been through his meditation, done his Tai Chi exercises and moved through the entire kata form twice, so it had to be several hours. He dropped out of position and turned, already knowing that the eyes didn’t belong to an enemy.

No, just an irritation.

"Maxwell. Did you need something?"

"Not really, Wu," The braided boy said cheerfully, dropping down beside of Wufei’s folded tunic and the lunch bag, sharing the shade of the tree he’d left them under. "Everyone else is busy, I thought I’d come bother you."

"My joy knows no bounds," Wufei said sourly, striding over and retrieving a bottle of juice. It was still slightly cool, and he swallowed the liquid appreciatively.

"You weren’t at breakfast," Duo’s voice was casually curious, one arm flung over his eyes as he lay back on the ground.

"It’s a good day to practice," Wufei replied, sitting down on the other side of the bag and taking out a sandwich. He hadn’t realized he was getting hungry.

"You practice almost every day. What’s different about today? Even Heero slept late after last night, you could have, too."

" _Heero_  slept late?!" Wufei was incredulous.

"Yeah," Duo sniggered, "a whole half-hour past the time he’s usually up."

Wufei rolled his eyes in response to  _that_ , and Duo laughed again. He reached out and snagged one of Wufei’s sandwiches. Wufei didn’t argue with him. Everyone knew Duo’s legs were hollow - he was always eating, although he never gained an ounce.

Wufei ate his sandwich and drank his juice in silence, knowing that the quiet wouldn’t last long. He was right - Duo finished his first sandwich and reached for another, and started talking.

"So Quatre’s out working in the garden, I don’t know why he’s bothering, ‘cause we’ll only be here a couple more days but he says it relaxes him, and Trowa’s working on Heavyarms even though it doesn’t really need any work and Heero’s got his damn laptop, so the rest of the world doesn’t exist, and you’re doing your dances but you looked like you were getting tired so I figured you were the best one to..."

"They aren’t  _dances_!"

"Yeah, I know, but they look almost like you’re dancing. I know they’re really martial arts stuff, but they’re beautiful."

Wufei felt his face turn red. "They’re practice forms. They’re not supposed to be beautiful."

"Can’t help that. So, are you done now? Wanna go swimming?"

"No." A calm, flat refusal. He hoped.

"Why not? It’s freakin’ hot today, and you’re sweating. Cool water would feel good, you know?"

"I suppose it would, but I’m not in the mood for..."

"C’mon, Wu! I wanna go, and you’re not supposed to swim alone! Puh-leeze?" Wufei was treated to Duo’s best chibi-faced pout.

"It’s WuFEI, and all right." He really couldn’t think of an excuse not to go to the pool, at least not one that wouldn’t make Maxwell curious. It had nothing to do with that ridiculous pouting face he made.

That’s what Wufei told himself.

 

 

*

 

 

‘ _Two more laps. I can do two more laps, tell him I’ve cooled down enough, and get out,_ ’ Wufei thought to himself, arms cleaving through the water monotonously as he propelled himself towards the far side of the pool. ‘ _Just don’t think about it, that’s all. This is just exercise, no need to think about how much water_...’

"Wu, don’t you even lighten up when you’re supposed to be having fun?" A voice asked brightly just as he reached the side of the pool.

Wufei gulped and nearly went under - Maxwell  _had_  been paddling around in the shallow end of the in-ground pool. How had he gotten here so quickly?

Duo laughed at his startled face. "You looked so serious, Wu-man, you’re supposed to  _enjoy_  this. Wanna play a game?"

"What kind of game?" Wufei asked suspiciously, clawing for his self-control.

"A  _water_ game, of course! Water tag, toss a ball around, diving competition,  _I_  don’t care! Let’s just have some fun! Oh, I know! Quatre’s got some weighted rings, we can toss them in and see how many we can get off the bottom before our air runs out."

"All right..." Wufei agreed slowly. That sounded like something he could handle - the other games would take away too much of his control over his environment.

He couldn’t risk losing that. Not after dreaming that dream again last night.

Duo was already out of the water, rooting around in a plastic box on the deck. He came back with his arms full of colorful toys; rings, sticks, small balls and other, odder shapes.

"Quatre had more than just the rings! There are twenty all together. Tell you what, lets throw them all in and see how fast we can get them out if we work together. There’s a timer, too. Then if you want, we can take turns and see who’s faster?" Duo’s voice was questioning, like he wasn’t sure Wufei was going to stay for the game.

Like he couldn’t believe the Chinese boy had stayed with him this long.

Wufei didn’t notice. "All right. Together?"

Duo beamed. "Cool, Wu! Watch out!" He started tossing the toys into the pool. Wufei’s black eyes watched them all carefully, trying to memorize their approximate location. That would make this little exercise - game, he wasn’t used to playing games - easier.

Duo set the little digital timer on the edge of the pool and slipped back into the water. "Ready?" he asked his companion. At Wufei’s nod, he started the timer, took a deep breath, and dove under the water. Wufei followed, going straight to the closest toy, a ring, and slipping it over a slender wrist. He could just make out Duo at the far side of the pool, gathering up bright colors. Wufei retrieved another ring, a ball and a brilliantly pink duck. His hands full, he swam to the side to deposit his catch.

"How many?" That almost obnoxiously cheerful voice called when his head broke the surface of the water.

"Four."

"Cool beans! I got three, thirteen to go!" There was a small splash as Duo went back under.

Wufei followed him.

 

*

 

They played the game for over an hour, both determined to beat their best time, both forgetting they’d intended to compete later. They were down to two minutes, eighteen seconds when Quatre came wandering onto the deck and stopped to stare at them.

Apparently he’d never expected to see Chang Wufei and Duo Maxwell playing a game in a pool, actually getting along with each other. No death threats, no jokes, no rants, no manic laughter and chases.

Surreal.

He sat down to watch.

Duo came to the surface with one of the two last toys, a neon green ball, and watched as Wufei came up with a ring. As soon as that black head - whose hair had somehow remained in a sopping wet little tail - was out of the water, he stopped the timer.

"Two minutes, ten seconds! Best time yet, Wu!"

Wufei didn’t correct him, just smirked and tossed the ring onto the concrete surround.

Quatre nearly fell over.

"Hey, Q!" Duo called, catching sight of him. "All done with the flowers? Is it close to dinner time, I’m starving?! Whose turn is it to cook? Please don’t say Heero! I’m tired, Wu, ready to get out?"

"Yes." And Wufei was up the ladder and on solid ground again, not even a tremble of his legs to show his relief.

"Trowa is cooking tonight." Quatre had recovered from his surprise. "He’s making that casserole that you like. It’ll be done in about ten minutes, long enough for you two to dry off."

"Excellent!" Duo crowed, shoving most of the toys into the container and running for the house.

Wufei calmly picked up the few he had left and packed them away. Quatre watched him for a moment, a puzzled expression on his face, fingers very lightly tracing a circle on the center of his chest.

"Wufei - are you all right?"

Wufei lifted blank onyx eyes to gaze at him, keeping his expression bland while his heart stuttered. "I’m fine, Quatre, why do you ask?"

"Oh - no reason." Quatre didn’t look like he entirely believed him, but he didn’t push it. He got up and went into the house. Wufei took a last look around, saw nothing out of place, and followed.

Dry clothes, dry hair, dinner, read a bit, and bed.

Sounded lovely to him.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_Black hair floating in a cloud around his face, obscuring his vision._

_Flashes of light on the surface, so far above his head..._

Wufei jerked awake, a scream lodging in his throat and turning into a strangled gasp. He lay very still for a moment, remembering where he was and waiting to see if he’d made enough noise for one of the others to hear him.

Apparently not.

Relieved, he sat up and pushed his hair out of his eyes, tucking long strands behind his ears. Seemed his hair tie had broken or come undone - the looser ponytail he wore while sleeping had become a waterfall of loose black silk.

Irritating.

He’d thought about cutting it a few times. Very few, because the long hair was traditional in his clan, symbolic of his status and the fact that he was of warrior’s blood. A warrior in his own right, now, and he could grow his hair as long as he desired, so long as it was kept in its neat tail.

He sighed. He was distracting himself from his dream again, or trying to. Too bad it wasn’t working.

He looked at the clock.

Three a.m.

Well, at least he’d slept longer than last night. All that swimming had tired him out.

If it wasn’t for that fact that all that swimming was probably what brought the dream back, he would have been grateful to Maxwell for suggesting it.

If it wasn’t for the fact that he was also rather sure that the dream would have been back, in a milder version but just as unsettling, even if he  _hadn’t_  been swimming again, he would have hunted the braided baka down.

Of course, killing him would have meant admitting to the others  _why_  he was killing a much-needed Gundam pilot.

Out of the question.

Wufei sighed and got up, ready to sneak some food and spend another day training.

 

 

*

 

 

"You skipped breakfast  _again_. Quatre’s going to start fussing."

Wufei dropped out of his stance and glared at Maxwell, who had taken up his position under the tree again. It wasn’t afternoon this time, it was barely an hour after breakfast and he’d only finished his entire pattern once.

"Maxwell, did you need something?"

"Whoa, Wu-man, deja vu! That’s what you said yesterday!"

"Maxwell..."

"Aw, c’mon, Wuffy! Don’t you get lonely up on this hill all by yourself?"

"No. And it’s Wufei."

Duo rolled his eyes. "Of course it is. Do you want to go swimming again?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I need to practice more."

"I guess I did interrupt," Duo had the grace to look slightly ashamed, "but I’m lonesome. Quatre went straight back to the garden, Trowa’s helping him, and Hee-chan’s laptop love affair continues."

Wufei snickered. Laptop love affair, indeed. Though, now that he thought of it, one never saw Yuy  _without_  that computer... "You could help Quatre and Trowa."

"Nah, I accidentally pulled up some important plants instead of weeds. They didn’t have flowers on them, who could tell? So I thought I ought to make myself scarce. Why don’t you teach me some karate or whatever it is you do?"

Wufei stared at him. "You want to learn martial arts?!"

"Hey, I want to defend myself the best I can. You teach me some of your stuff, and I’ll teach you some dirty street fighting! How about it?"

"Dirty... street fighting?"

"Yeah, you know Oz soldiers ain’t gonna bow at ya before they start punching! You’ve fought enough of them to know they play dirty, but it’s all stuff you can learn."

Wufei hesitated. He was good enough at hand-to-hand combat to beat every opponent who had come his way so far - he was probably the best among the pilots, even counting Heero - but it was true that one could always learn more. "All right."

"You mean it?!" Duo was on his feet in an instant. "You’ll really teach me?"

"If you teach me, in return."

"Deal! Oh, man, this is gonna be fun!"

And he took his life in his hands and glomped the other boy.

 

 

*

 

 

Quatre and Trowa looked up from the table when the kitchen door slammed open, heralding the arrival of pilot 02. A very flushed, sweaty 02, with a delighted grin on his face and pulling pilot 05 along by his upper arm.

"Don’t worry, Wu-man, I may not know how to fix a gourmet meal but I know how to fix milkshakes! I can’t  _believe_ you’ve never had a milkshake! What do you L5 people have for dessert, anyway, rice with sugar water? Live a little! What flavor of ice cream do you like the best?"

Trowa and Quatre braced themselves for an explosion, but the equally flushed and sweaty 05 just shrugged and said, "Chocolate."

They wondered if they had really gotten up that morning or if they were still dreaming?

"Hello, Wufei, hello, Duo." Quatre said politely, waiting to see if his comrades stayed themselves or turned into two-headed rodeo clowns.

That had happened in some of his stranger dreams.

"Hiya, Q! Done with the garden? You and Trowa wanna try a milkshake? I make really good ones!" Duo’s bright voice cut off as he stuck his upper half under a cabinet, searching for the blender.

"Um... no, thank you, Duo, we already ate."

"Ok, well, your loss!" Duo gave a shout of victory and emerged with cobwebs in his hair and a rather dusty blender in his hands.

"Baka," Wufei said mildly, sitting down at the table and watching while Duo started scrubbing at the machine.

"What, you want a spider and dust bunny milkshake instead of chocolate?" Duo asked, not turning. "You’re very strange, Wu."

"Wufei." The boy corrected absently, never knowing what a relief that word was to Trowa and Quatre. The world wasn’t ending, after all.

They’d just entered a new dimension.

But they felt they could handle that.

If this strange new relationship between Duo and Wufei kept up, at least things would be calmer around here.

Although Trowa wondered silently if it would be as much fun?

A second later and Wufei was ranting again, while Duo was screaming in laughter and they just stared, all four of them and the kitchen covered with chocolate ice cream and milk.

Duo had forgotten to put the lid on the blender.

Seemed things were getting back to normal, after all.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_Black hair floating._

_Flashes of light from the surface._

_Pressure on his ankles, his wrists... his lungs..._

Wufei came awake silently this time, his heart thumping so hard he expected it to burst out of his chest. He lay perfectly still, waiting for his pulse to settle, waiting for the images of his dream to fade.

Gods, he hated this.

He looked at the clock again.

Two fifty-five a.m.

What do you know, five minutes earlier than last night.

He rolled over, pulling the spare pillow into his arms and hugging it tight against his chest. He couldn’t just go meditate and do katas again - Quatre really would start fussing over his not eating enough, and the others would get suspicious. Not even  _he_  spent this much of his time on sharpening his skills. Although, maybe he should...

He wondered if Maxwell would want another lesson later today, then shoved the thought away.

What did he care if that braided menace decided to pursue knowledge of his skills?

He wondered if he could get the boy to make more milkshakes without coming right out and asking him? They were very cold when they were running down your neck, but he had been right about them tasting wonderful.

Maybe if he went downstairs and made himself some tea, he would calm down. Camomile tea was very soothing. Helped one to sleep...

He got to his feet and went silently downstairs. The kitchen was dimly lit with a nightlight, something Quatre had put in all their safehouses after the third time Duo woke them by crashing into something while trying to get a midnight snack.

Thinking of Duo coming down for a snack made Wufei pause for a moment - he really didn’t want to deal with one of the other pilots right now. They would be sure to ask  _why_  he was up so late, unless it was Heero. Heero would just silently glare at him until he cracked and  _told_  him why he was up.

‘ _Well, I can just say I was thirsty._ ’

He made his tea as silently as possible, opening the vent on the teapot just before it started whistling. Taking the cup of hot liquid in his cold hands, he wandered into the living room, curling up in a deep, cushiony chair in front of the big bay window. The stars were out in force tonight. He spent several slow, peaceful minutes just gazing at them, feeling calmness seep back into his soul.

He nearly hit the ceiling when a hand dropped onto the back of his neck.

"Whoa, Wu-man, I’m sorry! What are you doing up?" Duo dropped down on the arm of the chair, his warm hand stroking the back of Wufei’s neck soothingly.

Wufei had to force himself to dodge away. "Thirsty."

"Okay. Me, too." Duo had a glass of milk in one hand and a package of sugar cookies in the other. He caught Wufei’s look. "Well, can’t drink milk without cookies, huh? Want one?"

Wufei shook his head and leaned back in the chair, purposefully ignoring the lean arm stretched along the back of it. It was a big chair, that arm was several inches above the top of his head. Nothing to worry about.

"Stars are nice tonight. I forget to look at them, anymore."

Wufei knew what he meant. Once you’d been in space, flying among those stars, you took them for granted. On Earth or on a Colony, you just never watched the sky in the same way. Especially them - he knew they all watched for movement among those glittering pinpoints of light, never admiring them any more.Just watching them for signs of danger.

Tonight was different. He wasn’t sure why. Tonight he was able to just look at the stars, appreciating their beauty without thinking of the various light patterns that different types of mechs made as they entered the atmosphere.

Maybe it was because of the dream - the dream that had been such a constant companion, back when he had still stargazed with wonder in his eyes.

 

 

*

 

 

He was startled to realize that he’d been sitting here with Maxwell for over an hour, and the boy had been silent. Amazing. He turned to look at him, sure he was sound asleep.

He was startled again when two alert violet eyes met his.

"Feeling better yet?" Duo murmured, dropping his hand again to the back of Wufei’s neck.

The other boy forgot to jump at the touch, still astonished at the fact that Maxwell could be awake and silent at the same time.

"What do you mean?" he finally managed.

"C’mon, now, ‘Fei... I can tell something’s been bothering you. Wanna share? I won’t tell the others, you can trust me. It helps to talk about things, ya know."

"Nothing’s bothering me," Wufei said shortly, pulling his usual gruff persona around himself with an odd feeling of reluctance. "I just couldn’t sleep, that’s all."

"Ah," Duo’s voice was wise, "nightmares." At Wufei’s glare he lifted both hands in a calming gesture. "It’s okay, Wu, we all have nightmares! Haven’t you ever heard Quatre yelling at night? I dunno what Trowa does, but Hee-chan will hit you if you get close to him while he’s having them... and I scream louder than Quatre. I’m surprised you’ve slept through it."

Wufei blushed faintly, and Duo leered.

"Oh HO! I see! You thought those screams and yells were something else  _entirely_ , didn’t ya?"

Wufei blushed darker - he  _had_  wondered - but he wasn’t going to be embarrassed in front of the braided baka! "Maxwell..." his voice was a warning growl.

"Hey, hey, don’t get all upset!" Duo was still teasing. "I can see where someone would think that. Didya get all hot and..." He ducked the fist that came flying toward him and dove forward, pinning the slightly smaller boy against the other arm of the chair, before he could take another swing at him. He smirked down at the face that glared angrily back up at him.

Wufei’s velvet dark eyes widened when the other boy leaned closer, until his face was a scant few inches away. What was the insane idiot doing? Did he have that much of a death wish?!

"Didya?" Duo’s voice was oddly deeper, husky, his breath sweet with the scent of sugar cookies as it wafted across Wufei’s nose and mouth.

Wufei gaped up at him for a moment, his mind gone blank. "Did I what?" He asked, wondering at the soft blue-violet of those eyes. He’d never realized, until they were this close, how beautiful they were.

Wait - did he just say beautiful?!

About Maxwell?!

Well, all right, so he could admit to and appreciate beauty when he saw it. It didn’t mean anything. He had to get this baka  _off_ of him and go back to bed. He started struggling, but he wasn’t in a very good position to escape. Duo trapped his arms easily, fingers folding around his wrists carefully, firm enough to hold but not hard enough to hurt.

"Answer the question." The boy’s voice was still soft and rich, and Wufei shuddered slightly without really knowing why.

"What question?" He demanded, trying desperately to twist his wrists loose. He remembered the question by now, of course, but no  _way_  would he tell Maxwell anything about what he’d thought or felt at night, hearing moans and cries from the other rooms and trying so hard to ignore them. Telling himself that they were having nightmares, not moments of passion...

And hadn’t Duo just said they  _were_  having nightmares? So he had nothing to be embarrassed about.

"You know what question." Duo switched both his wrists to one hand, weakening his grasp but using his shoulders for leverage, keeping the Chinese boy firmly in place.Wufei scowled up at him, angry words trembling on his lips but he didn’t want to wake the other pilots up. It would be too embarrassing to be seen like this, caught so easily by the boy they mostly thought a harmless nutcase.

Until he was on a mission, of course. Then he was deadly, and it didn’t calm Wufei’s nerves when he saw the same light shining in Maxwell’s eyes now as he saw when the boy was piloting Deathscythe.

Duo leaned slightly closer, until his nose was just barely pressed against Wufei’s. "C’mon, Wufei, answer me. Tell me what you thought. Tell me how you felt. You never tell anybody anything - someday you’re going to explode."

Wufei’s eyes narrowed. "I am not so weak that..."

"I didn’t say you were weak," Duo cut him off, "I said you needed to talk to someone. And I want the someone to be me."

"Why?" Wufei wasn’t sure if he was furious or curious.

"Because, I..." Duo cut himself off abruptly, his head jerking up to stare towards the staircase. He suddenly let Wufei go, jumping backwards and tossing himself into another chair. He looked as casual as if he’d been sitting watching television for the last few stressful minutes.

Wufei sat up, confused and  _almost_  disappointed. He’d wanted to hear the rest of that sentence - no, no he didn’t! But why had Maxwell leapt away so suddenly?

"What are you two doing up?" Quatre’s sleepy voice from the bottom of the stairs answered Wufei’s question. Maxwell had apparently heard someone coming, when Wufei had been a little - distracted.

Damn Maxwell, anyway. He shouldn’t be so distracting - Wufei was ashamed of losing his focus, being so unaware of his environment. Some warrior.

"We were both thirsty. What about you?"

"Same." Quatre replied, and went on down the hall to the kitchen, his voice drifting back. "Are you guys hungry, too? I feel like I didn’t eat any dinner at all."

"I’m  _always_  hungry!" Duo said cheerfully, jumping up to follow the blond without even glancing at Wufei.

The pilot of Shenlong got to his feet slowly, still bemused by the last five minutes. He didn’t even think of going to the kitchen - he didn’t think he could look any of the other pilots in the eye right now without blushing. He went slowly up the stairs and back to his quiet room, stretching out on the bed.

He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping any more tonight, but at least he wouldn’t be thinking about the dream now.

No, he had other things to ponder.

Maybe he should just meditate. He needed to find balance again...

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_Hair like a cloud of ink dropped into the water, getting in his wide open eyes._

_Flashes of light dancing on waves, so far out of his reach._

_Heavy weight on his ankles, his wrists tightly held together, his lungs screaming for air._

_A muffled splash behind him..._

Wufei did wake up screaming this time.

Luckily, all the other pilots were gone on missions.

He sat up and threw off the covers, leaping out of bed. He wasn’t the slightest bit interested in sleeping now.

It had been three days since he and Maxwell had that very odd discussion in the middle of the night. Maxwell had acted perfectly normal the next morning, asking for a lesson, annoying them all, being his usual baka self.Wufei had shifted from confused to relieved.

But he hadn’t stopped wondering what it had all been about, and that had kept his mind from summoning up the dream.

He’d dreamed of violets instead.

So he wasn’t sure, now, why  _this_  dream had decided to come back. He leaned against the door and sighed, looking at the tangled mess he’d made of his bedcovers.

His room smelled faintly musty, too, from keeping the window shut.

Maybe, he thought, he should perform a cleansing ritual? Mind, body, environment. The other pilots wouldn’t be back for days, and he didn’t anticipate any missions for himself. It was the perfect opportunity.

And perhaps it would vanquish the dream.

It was barely past two in the morning, but that didn’t matter.

He’d get started now.

 

 

*

 

 

He stopped well after midnight.

The entire house; three bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room, den, and the laundry room in the basement, was scrubbed spotless and smelled faintly of bleach and lemons. He’d washed all the curtains, the bedclothes, and the slipcovers. The refrigerator had been cleaned and disinfected, the cabinets and closets were perfectly arranged. He hadn’t disturbed the other pilots’ rooms beyond dusting and vacuuming, of course, because he had no wish to die for touching their stuff.

Well, dusting, vacuuming, washing the walls and the windows, polishing the doorknobs...

He had washed all of his own clothes in a pure, unscented detergent and hung them on an improvised clothesline. They smelled fresh and sweet, and he wouldn’t need to wear the same pajamas for a week. He’d even drained the pool and rinsed it out. The auto-pump was refilling it right now, the chlorine holders replenished and bobbing placidly on the surface.

It had felt unhealthily  _good_  to see the pool empty. To be reminded that it  _was_  just a pool, and not a very big one, at that. Just ten feet at the deep end. Nothing to worry about.

He had paused in his work, every three hours, to meditate for a half-hour. After everything was clean and the windows opened to let in the freshness of the evening air, he’d nearly boiled himself alive in a fiercely hot bath. He’d added special oils only made on L5 to the water and soaked until it was cold. He’d then scrubbed off in a hot shower and had been so weak he’d had to sit down for almost an hour.

He’d used the time to meditate some more.

He still felt weak, lethargic. As part of the ritual, he’d had nothing to eat and had drank nothing but water or plain green tea.

He never wanted to see a cup of green tea again in his life.

But it was supposed to clean out your system - his teachers had always taught him that. They would have been very disappointed to know he was drinking things like milkshakes now. He hoped they never found out.

A slight shudder went through him - he  _really_ hoped they never found out.

Well, this wasn’t good for clearing out his mind! Back to meditating.

 

 

*

 

 

It worked.

Sort of.

He’d fallen into an exhausted sleep and barely stirred.

For about two hours.

Then he had to go to the bathroom.

Again and again and again.

Damn tea.

 

 

*

 

 

The next day he continued the ritual by nibbling on fresh fruits or vegetables, avoiding anything else to eat, and drinking only water. He couldn’t stand the thought of more tea, although he should have had another six cups or so. He went through his katas very slowly and carefully, knowing he was a little wobbly from two days of fasting.

He repeated the long soak and the shower, the water so hot he stayed red for hours.

He carefully cleaned up the tiniest traces that he’d left in the house, and hoped the other pilots wouldn’t return until tomorrow evening. The ritual seemed to be working, and it was supposed to be three days long. He didn’t miss them.

Not really...

Especially not Maxwell. He told himself that very firmly, several times a day. He’d always been alone, he  _liked_  being alone, with no Heero clacking away at his laptop, no Quatre and Trowa joined at the hip and taking care of everyone else, worrying and fussing, one audibly and one letting his actions do his speaking. No braided menace disturbing his meditation with jokes that made him blush, with pouts asking him to cook him something to eat, or watch a movie with him, or give him another lesson or let him show him this really neat move or go for a motorcycle ride or...

...or go swimming...

There were a few bugs floating on the surface of the pool, so he drained it again.

Quatre’s water bill was going to be enormous. He hoped the blond wouldn’t kill him.

He spent the rest of the day meditating, after he put the cover on the pool.

He didn’t dream at all that night.

He didn’t have to go to the bathroom, either.

 

 

*

 

 

The next day was almost exactly the same.

Up to and including draining the pool. It looked so nice empty.

He freely admitted he was bored, but reading or watching television - or thinking about the others - would disturb the ritual. He avoided thinking. He meditated.

A lot.

And made himself drink three cups of green tea, although his stomach roiled and killed the slightest bit of an appetite, so he didn’t even eat the fruits and vegetables.

But he slept the night through again.

 

 

*

 

 

Until about four in the morning, when he woke to the sound of voices downstairs. He was on his feet with his sword held firmly in his hands before he recognized them.

The other pilots were back.

And they sounded very surprised, for some reason... had he left something glaringly out of place? They weren’t even trying to be quiet. Very odd.

He put on a baggy t-shirt - it was a warm night and he’d been sleeping in only a pair of shorts - tightened his ponytail, and went downstairs to investigate.

All four pilots were standing in the large kitchen, looking around with confused faces. They were holding their shoes in their hands and acted like they were afraid to touch anything.

"...never seen  _any_  kitchen this clean! What on earth happened?!" Quatre was saying as Wufei reached the archway.

"I was bored," he replied calmly, knowing he’d never tell them about the ritual and the reason behind it.

The others spun around to stare at him.

"Bored?!" Quatre sounded slightly hysterical. "Wufei - the entire downstairs looks like a cleaning crew spent a week here! We thought we’d come to the wrong place! What does the upstairs look like?! Did you clean up there, too?"

"I didn’t touch your things," was the cool reply.

"That’s not what I asked." Quatre said, almost sharply, although Wufei was sure he’d seen them all relax a little. "We were gone almost four days, you had to have spent most of your time on the house - I can’t imagine how hard you must have worked! And you look like you’ve lost weight - have you been eating?!"

All three of the other pilots stared at him when Quatre said this, and he instinctively lifted his nose and glared down it at them. He knew it made him look totally arrogant. Perfect defense when people were worrying about you, it really turned them off. Who wants to worry about a jerk?

"I know how to take care of myself." He put scathing disdain into his voice, and made sure that his internal wince when Quatre blushed was well hidden.

"I know that, Wufei, but you  _are_  thinner. What did..." Trowa had opened the refrigerator door, swinging it wide so they could all see, and Quatre stopped short. He and Trowa had done the grocery shopping just before they left, and he couldn’t tell that  _anything_ had been eaten! "Wufei!"

 

 

*

 

 

Wufei got to go back to sleep over an hour later, after a hastily assembled meal that they had all eaten - while the other four watched him like they were all infected by Quatre’s mother-hen genes.

Very unsettling.

Especially Maxwell. There had been a very strange expression in those violet eyes. He couldn’t quite tell what it was. Not anger, not humor. He just didn’t know.

Even going upstairs had been annoying - they had felt the need to look into all the rooms, to comment on the shiny polish of the staircase railing, to yelp in surprise over the shining bathrooms, the sparkling walls and windows, and the neatly made beds. Idiots, the lot of them. It was just cleaning, for gods sake!

He crawled into his bed and pulled up the still-sweet smelling covers. There was nothing like fresh sheets - he’d put new ones on the bed just before he’d gone to sleep the first time tonight.

He closed weary dark eyes and slept like he’d been drugged until almost time for breakfast.

A shout woke him up.

"Wufei! You even cleaned the _pool?!_ "

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

 

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_He couldn’t see much because of his loose hair, a silken black cloud in the slightly murky water._

_The sun was dancing on the surface, the breeze ruffling the placid lake water into waves, and it looked like a sparkling heaven, so far, far away._

_His ankles were held almost immobile, the bindings on his slender wrists hurt, and he had to breathe... he had to breathe **now.**  _

_There was a muffled splash behind him, though he couldn’t turn he could sense something moving toward him..._

 

 

He woke to the sound of screams.

His heart nearly stopped, until he realized it wasn’t him.

Then it started beating too quickly, as he grabbed for his katana and ran out of the room, nearly slamming into Trowa. "Who...?"

"Duo. Sounds like Duo." Trowa said softly, moving swiftly down the hall to the open door of the bedroom.

Why was it open? Duo and Heero... er, Maxwell and Yuy always closed their bedroom door.

Oh, because Quatre was already there, twisting his hands nervously as he watched Duotoss and kick and scream in his sleep. Heero was sitting immobile on the side of the bed, just watching, as well.

"You don’t wake him up?" Trowa asked the question Wufei wanted to ask.

"No," Heero said flatly, "it just makes it worse when he goes back to sleep. He has to finish it out."

"What brought this on?" Quatre asked. His voice sounded funny, as if he was sure he already knew. Wufei shot him a glance, but his face showed worry, nothing more and nothing less.

Heero replied. "Hard mission. And then..."

Quatre cleared his throat slightly, his eyes darting toward the door - toward Wufei? Or toward Trowa, who stood next to him?

Heero stared at the blond for a long moment, better positioned to see Quatre’s eyes. Something seemed to pass between them, then Heero repeated his words. "Hard mission."

Quatre nodded, not asking further. He sat down on the other side of the bed, clearly ready to watch over Duo as long as it took. Heero, as well, seemed ready to stay. Wufei was slightly surprised - he would have expected the Perfect Soldier to just sneer and go sleep in another room.

Maybe the two did have some sort of relationship?

Wufei pushed the thought away.

Trowa sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall, also ready to wait. Wufei hesitated in the doorway, uncertain as to what he should do. Would leaving make his teammates despise him? Staying make them think he was emotional and weak?

Well, _they_  were staying, weren’t they?

He very quietly put down his sword and assumed his meditation position. He would stay.

But  _outside_  the door.

He closed his eyes, and missed the sudden triumphant looks the other three pilots shot at each other.

 

 

*

 

 

It took Duo almost forty minutes to finish out his dream.

Must have been a nasty one. Wufei was sure his own would pale in comparison. It made him doubly determined never to tell.

He found he couldn’t meditate with Maxwell’s panicked screams echoing in his ears - he really wanted to wake the boy... this was very unsettling. He allowed himself to admit that he was worried about the braided twit.

This couldn’t be healthy for Maxwell.

It would... um, affect his missions. Yeah, that was it.

He let his mind slip over the events of yesterday, trying to think of what the ‘and then’ that Heero had let slip could have been.

He’d spent the day on the hillside, doing his katas, after attempting to read for an hour and being driven half-insane by repeated cries of astonishment from the other pilots as they explored the spotless house. Quatre had been caught between thanking Wufei and admonishing him for working so hard, Heero had just stared and shook his head, Trowa seemed slightly amused.

Maxwell had spent the morning yelling things like, ‘Wu! The linen closet, too? You’re nuts!’ and ‘Wu-man! You cleaned the basement?! You’re crazy!’

Very annoying.

So he’d escaped.

He couldn’t think of anything that would trigger a nightmare. Nothing really unusual had happened. Maxwell always called him nuts, or a neat freak, things like that.

Maybe the boy had a secret fear of pristine environments.

Or maybe not - he’d been just as careful as the others not to mess up the house, all of them glancing cautiously at him if they disturbed something. Like they expected him to attack, or something silly like that.

It was just cleaning. He’d told them over and over he’d been bored. They could destroy the whole house, and he wouldn’t have cared.

So long as they didn’t mess up his stuff, that is.

Quatre, on the other hand, would probably have had something to say about it. He seemed rather fond of this house, surprising since it was so much smaller than most of the ones he owned. Well, who knew what went on under those blond curls? It was none of his business why Quatre liked this place so much.

When had he started thinking of him as Quatre, instead of Winner?

Ah, who cared, so long as he didn’t say it out loud? It was probably just because the others all called him that, even Heero, who still called he and Trowa ‘Chang’ and ‘Barton’.

Who called Maxwell, 'Duo'...

Well, who cared about that, either?

The screams finally eased off, and Wufei opened his eyes to watch while Duo curled up on his side, mumbled something incoherent, and clutched a pillow to him. He seemed to be settling down into real sleep.

Yes, because Quatre and Heero were getting up, one to slide back into his own bed, the other heading for the door. Trowa was getting to his feet as well - Wufei slipped off down the hall before either could reach the door. He didn’t want to hear any remarks they might have about his staying.

He didn’t feel the eyes following him into his room.

 

 

*

 

 

Maxwell acted like nothing had happened.

Well, if Heero hadn’t told him, so far as he knew, nothing  _had_  happened. And Wufei didn’t care one way or the other.

Or so he kept telling himself.

He spent the day on the hillside again, although he couldn’t avoid breakfast. Quatre was being strict about him eating at every meal. Wufei was very tempted to call him ‘Mother’ and see if he would blush.

But it sounded too much like something Maxwell would do.

Maybe the other boy was a bad influence on him?

Nah...

He did show up for another lesson, though, and had learned a particularly dirty trick he was eager to share. They spent a very pleasant morning trying to beat the stuffing out of each other.

Not that either actually landed a blow.

No, Heero got to land the first blow of the day.

Not physically. Oh, no.

Wufei would have preferred that, though.

No, instead he gave Wufei a mental punch when he calmly told him he had a mission.

No problem.

With Maxwell.

Problem.

An infiltration mission, to retrieve valuable information on an Oz general _._ They would have to stay together in a small safehouse for a few days, gathering information on the man’s movements, before infiltrating the base he worked at and downloading the specs on some ‘secret project’. Apparently Oz was very excited about this project, which meant it was going to cause the Alliance major trouble.

They couldn’t have that.

Apparently, only Duo and Wufei would be able to get in under the cover they had chosen - the only available option they’d been able to find, since the base was one of the most heavily guarded they’d ever seen.

Seemed the general had a fondness for young boys with long hair.

Ew. That was all Wufei had to say about  _that_.

But it seemed he didn’t need to sleep with them. Just look at them. Very strange. Not even naked, but dressed in some odd leather costumes.

Very,  _very_  strange. The man had serious kinks.

But Heero had already hacked into their email system, and learned that was the way the general summoned his... er... playmates. So once Wufei and Duo were in position, and the general sent an email to his favorite - ‘supplier’ - Heero would intercept it, and they would go in place of the pair of boys that were supposed to go. The general always asked for two.

Wufei didn’t want to know why.

He and 02 would enter the gates as the expected prostitutes. There shouldn’t be any problem with the soldiers believing their story, once they were in costume. Du... Maxwell was beautiful, after all, and his hair was... beyond any words Wufei could think of.

Hey, he’d  _said_  he recognized beauty when he saw it. It didn’t mean anything!

And Maxwell being so - nice to look at - would cover the fact that Wufei was rather plain. It would work. It was probably the _only_  chance they had of getting inside. Once in, they would either abandon the route to the general’s quarters, heading for the lab instead, or, if there was an escort, go to the quarters, take out the general and  _then_  head for the lab.

It couldn’t fail.

Wufei swallowed his trepidation over the partner he’d been given, and went to pack.

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_His hair was floating in the water, making it hard to see, and he wondered vaguely when his ponytail had come loose?_

_He could see the sun shining on the water above him - it had been a very nice day, up until now._

_His ankles felt like they were breaking as he struggled to free them, the bindings on his wrists tearing into his skin as he ripped them loose. He could feel the burning in his lungs, the silent cry for air air AIR!_

_He was going to die._

_There was a muffled splash behind him, and although he couldn't turn because of the weights attached to his feet, because he couldn't spare the time from his struggling, he could sense something big moving through the water._

_Large hands settled on his shoulders..._

  
  


...and started shaking him.

Wufei jerked awake, staring around wildly.

Wide, velvet dark eyes met pools of impossible purple.

"Hey, Wu..." Duo's voice was soft, gentle. "Wake up, man, you're dreaming."

Wufei blinked at him. What...?

Where was he?

Oh, yes. Safehouse. Mission.

Partner.

Who was still holding onto his shoulders.

"I'm all right, Maxwell," he grumbled, trying to push the other boy away. He didn't need him so close, he was already unsettled enough without adding thoughts of...

Never mind.

"You sure?" Duo seemed reluctant to move. His hands drifted up to cup Wufei's face, forcing those dark sloe eyes to meet his. "Seemed like a doozy. You were fighting something, for sure. But you don't scream like me and Quatre." He paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. "We should have known."

"Huh?" Wufei's mind was a glorious blank. He really wished Duo would move his warm, slender hands. They were quite distracting.

"We should have known. The rest of us have nightmares, and you're only human. Even if ya pretend not to be. We should have kept a better eye on you. You've been having them a lot lately, haven't you? That's why you've been so weird. Or weirder than normal."

They'd noticed?!

Wufei tried to push away the warm, fuzzy feeling in his heart in favor of anger. He couldn't quite do it.How pitiful could he get?

"Yeah, we noticed." Maxwell could apparently read minds. "We just couldn't figure it out. I should have known after that night in the living room, but you never said, so I couldn't be sure." He ignored Wufei's blush as the Chinese boy remembered the  **rest**  of that conversation. "Even Hee-chan realized something wasn't right... then we came back from that mission and you'd cleaned the house like that - freaky, man - and you looked so thin and tired... what did you  **do**  to yourself, anyway?" He stopped talking.

Apparently, Wufei was going to have to answer.

Oh, well. He couldn't hide the fact that he was having nightmares after Maxwell had  **seen**  him having one, could he?

"Cleansing," he muttered, sitting up and effectively dislodging Duo's hands. He missed the look of longing and hurt on the other boy's face as he wrapped his arms around his knees and hid his face against them. "Ritual. Cleansing of mind, body, environment. It... helps."

"Mind, body, environment... okay, so the house was the 'environment.' I'm guessing meditation for the 'mind'? _"_

Wufei nodded without looking up.

"How'd you cleanse 'body'?" Duo's voice was relentless. It reminded him of Quatre on a mothering streak. Guess he'd have to answer.

"Soaking in very hot water, with special cleansing oils. Fasting. Lots of water and green tea. Exercise."

"Fasting. You starved yourself. No wonder you were thin."Duo sounded angry.

"Necessary." Wufei didn't care. Much. He wanted to go back to sleep, to escape this conversation. "Maxwell..."

"Shut up, Wu. Gods, Quatre and Trowa are going to  **kill**  you when they find out. Even Hee-chan'll growl at you. Are you nuts?! You shouldn't do things like that to yourself, it's not good for you! Do you have any  **idea**  how worried..." he trailed off.

There was something deeper under Duo's voice, some feeling Wufei didn't understand. He ignored it for now.

"There is no need to tell the others, Maxwell." He put a sharp bite into his words, although he still didn't look up.

"Yes there is, so you don't do it again. Gods, Wu, you're our friend, whether you realize it or not. It's not just that we're a team! We care about you!"

Wufei's head  **did**  come up at that. "N-nani? You ...what?!"

"We  **care**  about you, you utter moron! Gods, I even..."

Wufei's laptop beeped.

  
  


*

  
  


Mission time, of course. A day earlier than they expected, but they were ready. They'd even bought outfits at a leather store.

Wufei blushed every time he saw his.

He blushed harder when he saw Duo's.

He really wished he could have shot his laptop. He had a felling Du...Maxwell had been about to say something rather important.

"C'mon, Wu. Aren't you ready, yet?" They had split up to get dressed, Duo in the bedroom and Wufei in the tiny bathroom.

Wiggling into tight leather in that small space had  **not**  been easy.

He had the bruises to prove it.

Luckily they were all covered.

Which was more than he could say for the rest of his skin.

He finished brushing out his loose hair and sighed, staring into the mirror. He looked ridiculous with his hair down. Everyone at home had said so. He'd deliberately kept it down then  **because**  they had said so, but when he'd become pilot 05, the last thing he wanted was to look silly. He'd worn it in a ponytail ever since.

He hadn't realized it had grown so much longer. It was well past his shoulders now.

"Wu?" Maxwell sounded like he was getting impatient. Not like that was anything new. Wufei sighed again and turned from the mirror - that was as good as he was ever going to look. Hair down, black leather outfit, black eyeliner - he'd refused the glitter and the hair-streaking kit Duo had tried to talk him into. He looked silly enough as it was.

He opened the door.

And stared.

For several minutes.

Maxwell was a vision. A vision wearing dark purple leather, a tight vest that laced up his chest, leaving his arms and his midriff bare, low riding pants that showed off his slim hips and clung lovingly to long legs. Patches of the leather pants were cut away in heart shapes, outlined with black velvet, showing glimpses of soft creamy skin all the way down the outside of those gorgeous limbs. His long hair was loose, flowing in waves of glowing chestnut almost to his knees, streaked with a lighter shade of violet. The same color was echoed in the lacings on the vest, in the eyeshadow around those amazing eyes. Glitter dusted his cheekbones and his full lips shone subtly.

Wufei felt weak-kneed.

It took him a moment to realize Maxwell was staring at him, too.

"What?!" Did he put the outfit on wrong? It wasn't like he was used to this kind of clothing!

"Wu - I am going to kill you."

**What?!**

"Uh... Maxwell?" Wufei felt like retreating into the bathroom - Duo's eyes were shining with a manic light he'd  **never** seen in them before.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You. How  **dare**  you hide all that?!"

"All  **what** , you irritating..." Wufei had to let go of the sentence as Duo slammed him against the bathroom door. The light in his eyes was brighter than ever.

"Chang Wufei... do you have any idea how you look right now?"

"Like a moron?" He asked cooly, struggling to hang on to his self-control. Maxwell was entirely  **too**  close to him; it was giving his body ideas.

"Not exactly." Duo's voice was amused. His eyes flicked up and down Wufei's body, taking in his whole appearance. A slender white hand rose to touch his hair. "Like silk... why do you wear it in that ponytail? It's beautiful."

"It... uh, gets in my way..." Wufei was confused, but not about to tell him of years and years of being told he looked childish or stupid with loose hair. Maxwell thought it was beautiful. He'd just try to wrap his brain around that, instead.

"And you hide all this under those billowy clothes..." Duo's hands left his hair and lightly traced first his shoulder, then down his side to his hip, then down a trimly muscled thigh. Wufei's own low-slung, skintight black leather pants had cutouts rather like Duo's, except that his were diamonds, and the questing fingers easily found smooth bronze skin to stroke.

Maxwell really needed to stop doing that, or Wufei... well, he wasn't quite sure what he would do. But definitely something. "Um... Maxwell..."

"One of these days, you're going to say Duo." The other boy purred against his ear. "Hopefully, I can make you scream it."

Wufei was now beyond confused. Did Maxwell mean what he thought he meant?

And what about Heero?!

Duo slid his hands along Wufei's bare stomach, skimming the edge of the short leather tank top that was nearly molded to Wufei's body, showing ever curve of muscle. "I like this top..." he patted Wufei's chest and stood back, sighing. "Mission time. Duty calls, and all that rot. But don't think this is over, Wu. You and me are going to have a nice long... talk... when we get back."

Wufei swallowed.

  
  


*

  
  


They approached the small door in the gates confidently, Duo swaggering and swinging his hips and Wufei a black shadow behind him, stalking like a panther. Duo had made him walk back and forth across the safehouse floor for almost five minutes, changing the way he moved, until he'd picked this walk. Wufei was amused, because it was just a continuous repetition of a tiny part of his katas. How could that be 'sexy', as Maxwell claimed?

The braided boy really  **was**  an idiot. There was nothing remotely sexy about him or the way he moved.

Maxwell, on the other hand...

Mission. Concentrate on the mission. There were Oz soldiers at the door, blatantly looking them up and down and smirking.

Duo was flirting with them.

Wufei just stood there and glared. Maxwell had told him that his glare looked 'sultry' - what kind of word was that, anyway? - with the black eyeliner outlining his eyes. To his vast surprise, he was getting as many looks as Duo.

Must be the leather. Did all these soldiers share the General's kinks?

The door was opening. One of the soldiers was giving Duo directions.

No escort. Nice.

This mission should be a cake walk. The soldiers hadn't even searched them. What could possibly go wrong?

  
  


*

  
  


Everything went wrong.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There be torture ahead!

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_Hair floating because he never wore it in the ponytail his teachers demanded, but now it was getting in his way as he tried to puzzle out the knots._

_Light flashed above him, showing him the surface and the promise of air, then a shadow fell over him as the bottom of a boat blocked the sun._

_He gave up trying to untie himself and just ripped his wrists free, ignoring the small red clouds of blood that floated up past his eyes, his fingers already trying to free his ankles from the ropes that tied him to the concrete block, because he needed to breathe now and he couldn’t think about anything else, not pain and not fear and not why he was in the water._

_A muffled splash behind him that sent anger coursing through his veins, his hands struggling faster, getting one ankle free and going on to the other. He couldn’t - wouldn’t - turn, wouldn’t give them the satisfaction, even as he sensed someone moving closer to him. He would get free on his own, he didn’t need their help, he didn’t want anything from them._

_Big hands landed on his shoulders, moved down his arms to touch his tattered wrists. A knife flashed in the water and his other ankle was free but those hands still held him down..._

“Wufei.”

The husky voice brought him out of the dream and he tried to sit up.

Bruised ribs and aching muscles protested. He stopped trying.

“Wufei, it’s all right. You’re dreaming again.”

“Is... this a dream, too?” Wufei was confused. Why was he chained to the floor?

“Nope, sorry, Wu! We got caught, remember?”

Wufei turned his eyes to see Maxwell also chained to the floor, his hands, like Wufei’s, were completely hidden inside solid metal cuffs that were almost gloves, keeping them from picking any locks. More shackles were on his feet, and Wufei felt a similar weight around his own ankles.

He shuddered. That weight was too familiar, after his dream.

Caught.

Right.

They had been caught, on their way to the lab, suddenly surrounded by a group of soldiers demanding to know why they were going this way, instead of to the General’s quarters. Duo had done his best ‘we’re only lost, and we’re only innocent children, please don’t hurt us’ routine, but they hadn’t fallen for it.

Then an officer had come along, and recognized Duo as a Gundam pilot. So they were quite sure Wufei was one, as well.

They’d been tossed into this cell, chained down without the possibility of escape.

That had been yesterday evening.

They’d been left alone until early this morning.

Then the interrogation started.

For some reason, they’d left Duo relatively alone - he told Wufei that the Captain who had recognized him had probably told them they’d been unable to get any information out of him by way of torture, since the reason he knew him was because he’d been at a base where Duo had once been briefly held. They’d tried a truth serum on him, but Duo was immune, thanks to the Doctors, and had entertained himself by telling them the most outrageous lies he could come up with.

Since it was Duo, they were pretty outrageous.

After awhile, the men interrogating them had caught on, and one had knocked Duo to the floor.

They’d turned their attention on Wufei.

They didn’t know if he could resist torture or not.

They decided to find out.

Wufei had never hurt so much in his life, but he wasn’t going to give in. They had used their fists, and belts, and drugs that kept him from passing out. He still remained silent, refusing to even speak to them. Refusing to scream or moan or give them any satisfaction whatsoever.

It just made them angrier. They had moved on to using a stun gun, set on a low level but gradually increasing its power as he continued to hold out. Wufei tried to meditate, to distance himself from the pain, but the drugs that were keeping him alert wouldn’t let him slip into the comforting trance. They tried the truth serum, but he was as immune as Maxwell - the two drugs had, however, caused some sort of reaction in his system, making him shake with cold even as he sweated like he was in a sauna. If he’d had anything in his stomach, he would have thrown it up.

They made Maxwell watch everything. That hurt him more than the pain.

Not because he felt the other boy would think him weak. He was beyond that right now.

No, it was because he could hear Maxwell screaming at them to stop, cursing at them with all his considerable lung power, refusing to give them any information because ‘Wu would rather die, but if you kill him I swear I’ll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!’ and Wufei found himself hoping this wasn’t going to cause Maxwell to have more nightmares.

He found himself speaking, finally, just three words, over and over, trying to let Maxwell know he appreciated the fact that he wasn’t talking, that he was right about how Wufei would feel if all this was in vain. “don’t tell them, don’t tell them, don’t tell them,” over and over in a soft voice that he knew Duo could hear, even above his own ranting.

Hmm, maybe he’d been more of an influence on Duo than he’d realized. Those rants were worthy of himself.

He had heard them discussing whether or not they should gag him, since the quiet mantra was apparently helping pilot 02 to hold out - but then, if they did that and this one decided to talk, they’d never know it. They finally decided against it, and had gone back to the beating, leaving bruises and welts and burns from the taser but careful to never break any bones.

He was sure they were saving **that** for later.

They had finally stopped, after who knew how many hours, had put them back in the cell, dropping him carelessly to the floor. He curled up in agony, ignoring Duo’s pleas to talk to him, just wanting rest, wishing the drugs would wear off so he could sleep.

And they finally did, only to leave him dreaming.

Hadn’t he gone through enough?

 

*

 

He heard the clinking of chains and dimly realized that Duo was trying to move closer to him. He had quite a bit of slack in his own chains, but he couldn’t bear to move his own body, to feel the surge of pain that any motion brought with it.

After a moment, he felt something touch his hair.

Duo couldn’t use his hands, so what was it? He finally had to turn his head, slowly and carefully because it felt three times as big as it should be, and found that Duo, at the absolute end of his chains, with his arms and legs pulled awkwardly back toward where his fetters were anchored, had managed to lay his cheek against his head.

Wufei felt oddly warm, despite the fact that the cell was cold and the aftereffects of the drugs were making him colder still. He sighed, and let his head loll back to its former position. He felt Duo rub his cheek against him slightly, then felt the briefest kiss against the top of his head before the warm cheek came back.

It was almost worth the misery he was in.

He heard Duo ask him something, softly, but he was already falling back into sleep...

 

*

 

The General had come to watch.

They were back in the interrogation room, and this time his torturers had an audience, beyond Maxwell, who was already warming up his new ranting abilities. Wufei was hanging by his wrists from a chain attached to the ceiling, his toes barely touching the floor, completely vulnerable to anything they decided to do.

Or so they thought.

The first interrogator was very surprised when Wufei’s foot slammed into his chest, sending him stumbling back against the wall.

Wufei had a feeling that little trick was going to cause him even more pain, but right now he didn’t care. It had helped his state of mind, to know he had landed on blow on one of the sadists.

It helped, too, that Maxwell cheered him on.

Even though Wufei had a sneaking suspicion he was going to go all Quatre on him later, and bawl him out for it.

Oh, well. He enjoyed his small moment of smugness, even as the men fastened weights to his ankles to keep him from kicking again. He shared a smirk with his fellow prisoner, who was chained up in the corner, then glared at the General.

And managed to keep the glare on his face, even as his insides shuddered.

He didn’t like the way the man was looking at him. His eyes were roaming Wufei’s battered body, dressed only in the tattered remains of his leather pants, like it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

One thought lingered in his head as fists started slamming into his ribs.

‘This is not good.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is pretty much a TWT, but it does happen before L5 is destroyed. That might make it AU as well - for the life of me I can't remember if Wufei started teaming up with the others BEFORE or AFTER that happened... I should check but I'm lazy.


	8. Chapter 8

_Water._

_Water all around him._

_The thought that if his hair had been in the requested tail, it wouldn't be getting in his eyes now._

_The sunlight above him blocked out by the arrival of the boat. Damn boat, and damn the people in it._

_Blood in little puffs floating past his eyes as he yanked his wrists free of their tight binding, knowing he'd be put in a regen unit to keep him from scarring. The clan couldn't be allowed to see any sign of weakness in their future leader. Struggling with his ankles, getting one loose._

_Muffled sounds of someone entering the water, swimming up behind him. He wanted them to go away. Better drowning than their help._

_Hands on his shoulders, catching his wrists to examine them. Knife in one hand, freeing his ankle from the concrete block like it had freed him from the dozens of other blocks dotting the floor of the lake._

_Hands holding him down, dark eyes glaring into his until his lungs couldn't take it any more and he had to give in, letting his air escape in a rush of bubbles. A rough hand clapping over his mouth, preventing him from drawing water into his starving lungs..._

  
  


"Wu-chan..."

Well, this was getting old.

He was very, very sick of waking up shaking from that nightmare.

At least he was warm this time. It seemed Maxwell had moved him while he was asleep, shifted him further along the slack of his chains until he could wrap his arms around him. They must have been dropped into the cell closer to each other this time. He couldn't quite remember being brought back.

He just remembered being hit a lot. Some of his ribs were cracked, now - and the General had watched while they were being broken, a half-smile on his face.

Then the General had taken Duo out of the room for a while - Wufei hadn't been able to keep track of how long - and he'd been extremely worried, but when Duo - _Maxwell, damn it!_ \- had been brought back, he'd just looked confused. Not angry or hurt or frightened - only puzzled. At Wufei's questioning eyes, he'd mouthed the words 'nothing - just stared.'

Serious, **serious** kinks - but Wufei found himself thankful that staring was all the General did.

After he watched the interrogators chain Maxwell back into the corner, he'd gone back to trying to meditate. He'd either succeeded in his trance, or fallen unconscious. Maxwell's worried eyes were the last thing he remembered.

Until he woke up with 02's arms around him.

  
  


*

 

 

Duo held Wufei carefully, mindful of the many wounds on his skin, but Wufei had never felt so comfortable in his entire short life.

"Wu-chan?"

Who was calling him that? No one had ever... oh, Maxwell. He made a questioning noise in return, needing the boy's comfort too much to protest any nicknames.

"Nightmares again?" At Wufei's tiny nod, he went on. "What do you dream about? Missions, war, streets full of the blood of innocents, all that fun stuff?" He paused, and Wufei felt his cheek against his hair again. "Dream about something happening to the rest of us?"

"Sometimes." Wufei's voice was a harsh rasp in his throat. They'd been given no food and barely enough water. He was thirsty.

"Sometimes... huh. But not tonight?"

Wufei just shook his head. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to tell someone who dreamed of war and blood and losing his friends that **he** dreamed of being under water.

"Tell me what you dream about, Wu-chan." Duo's arms felt so strong around him and he felt so weak.

"No."

"It's the same dream, isn't it? Every night. That's why it bothers you so much."

"H...how... did..." Wufei couldn't get his question out. His throat was so dry and he was so utterly surprised.

"You always move the same way - like you're trying to get your wrists loose and then like your fingers are trying to untie something and your legs jerk so I'm guessing they're tied and you're trying to free them. And then you jerk and start to panic, and Wufei - calm down, because you're just human and it's just a dream and no one can help how they act in their sleep."

Damn Maxwell anyway, for noticing that his breath was approaching hyperventilation. The other boy rubbed his cheek against his head and stroked the side of his arm with a metal covered hand until he quieted. "Tell me."

"I... I can't..."

There was suddenly a bowl of water against his lips, balanced awkwardly between Duo's shackled, gloved hands. "Drink."

Wufei obeyed willingly, gulping the water into his parched mouth, feeling the spread of moisture through his entire body like it only did when you were very, very thirsty.

It felt so good his toes curled.

And Maxwell was noticing everything, because he chuckled. "Good, huh? Now tell me. No excuses. You're not thirsty and you need to tell someone. It's going to tear you up worse than these damn bastards could ever hurt you. Not that I'm not going to shred their intestines for what they've done to you already."

"Dis...gusting." Wufei managed, and Duo laughed again.

"Very. But I plan on enjoying it. Now tell me, little Wu-chan."

"Little?!" Wufei's head lifted from it's position against Duo's shoulder, and he glared up at the amused violet-blue eyes. He was only an half-inch shorter than the other boy, and he was certainly stronger!

How dare that braided baka call him little?!

"I thought that would snap you out of it! C'mon, I take it back, now tell me."

And Wufei gave in, because he didn't have enough strength left to fight anything.

  
  
  
  


*

  
  


 

"I dream of water."

Duo settled back and tightened his hold carefully. "Okay. What about it?"

"When... when I was very young, perhaps three years old, I fell out of a boat. We - my older cousins and I - weren't supposed to be out on the lake with an adult but they were so happy about taking the boat out... and I never thought..."

"Little bitty kids don't, Wu. Not your fault. Keep going."

"We didn't have life jackets or anything, and the lake was choppy. A storm was coming. I fell out, and I could barely swim. I was wearing a full traditional outfit."

"So you sank like a rock?"

"Yes." Wufei was amazed to hear amusement in his own voice. He'd never found anything funny about this before.

"Keep going."

"The lake wasn't very deep there - luckily for us. One of the older boys jumped in after me and pulled me out before I hit bottom. I was frightened and I cried."

"Who wouldn't, when they're three? So you dream about falling into water and almost drowning? No, that doesn't explain the rest of it, why do have to untie yourself?"

Wufei sighed. He was sure Duo was going to take this badly, but what had been done was necessary. Wasn't it?

"I had dreams. The others never considered not telling the Elders; I am the heir to my Clan and it was important that they know everything about me. So when I started having nightmares, they knew what they were about. I got a lot of lectures on inner strength and they increased my training in meditation techniques..."

"Didn't work, huh?"

"Well, it did, in a way. The dreams sort of faded, became sporadic and not as intense. I was taught to swim and that helped, as well, because I knew I wouldn't be helpless if I ever fell off a boat again."

"And what happened? 'Cause I know something did."

Wufei sighed and gave in to the desire to snuggle slightly closer. The lean body next to his was so comforting in this dark cell, with his own body aching and his mind remembering things he'd much rather forget.

"When I was eleven - I was swimming in the lake with the same cousins. I only liked to stay on the surface. I have never liked water to be completely over my head since that time I fell, but I can handle it if I have control of my environment. One of my cousins thought it would be amusing to 'dunk' me. He pulled me under and held me down for almost a minute before he let go."

"Bastard. Did he get in trouble?"

"I don't know. I'm sure someone told the Elders, but I... I had other things to deal with. I never bothered to find out."

"Nightmares?"

"Back with a vengeance. I - I'm not supposed to be weak. And nightmares show weakness, show fear. Fears... have to be faced. It's just the way things are."

Duo's arms tightened almost painfully. "Wu... what did they do to you?"

"Taught me to face my fear of drowning."

"How?" The word was more of a demand than a question.

"By tying my feet to a weight, and my hands together... and then they would..."

"Throw you in the lake." Duo's voice was acid with fury. "Damn them, after we get out of here I'm going to your freaking colony and punching every one of your stupid Elders in the nose! How long did they leave you under? How many times did they do it?"

"They left me until I would signal that I had to breathe. They did it whenever I had a nightmare about water, and they could always tell. Something about the way I threw my arms around. But one day... one day I got mad. They were taking me out in the boat and I was so angry. I wanted to kill them for doing this to me, and I resolved that I would get free on my own. I wouldn't signal, no matter what."

"What happened?"

"I tried to untie myself - I had taught myself how to do so but the water made the bindings much tighter than I had ever realized. I wasted too much time, I didn't have enough air left so I tore them loose. It cut my arms a little but they didn't scar. I wasn't allowed to have any self-inflicted marks that might show the Clan any weakness. They made sure that they didn't scar."

This still bothered him, almost four years later. All that struggling and pain, and not even a tiny scar to show for his defiance. He sometimes wondered if that hadn't been the deeper purpose behind healing him.

"Keep going, Wu. You're not done yet, are you?"

"No. I had an ankle loose by the time they realized I wasn't going to signal them. They sent one of the Elders, the best swimmer among them, down to release me. To... make me submit to them. They had to keep control of me, I suppose, can't let the twelve-year-old heir of the Dragon Clan get ideas of doing things his own way. Tradition is too important."

"I still say they're bastards."

"I'm not arguing. He cut my other ankle loose but he held me down until I let out the breath I was holding. He - held my mouth and nose so I couldn't breathe in water but - but he... he still didn't..." Wufei started shaking slightly.

Duo's voice was furious. "He held you down even then?! Great way to conquer slight fear, replace it with serious trauma! Whoo hoo, aren't your Elders smart?! How long did he keep you under?"

"Until I passed out. I never remembered being brought back to the surface, put on the boat. I woke up in my own room and I've never had nightmares about being three and falling off a boat again, or being eleven and hands grabbing my ankles and pulling me under."

"No, just about the day the people who were supposed to take care of you nearly let you die." Duo's voice was sarcastic.

Wufei nodded slightly, and pressed closer still. "They weren't as smart as you, they never figured out what I was dreaming of and I wasn't about to tell them. Or maybe they just felt guilty. Either way, they never sent me to the bottom of the lake again."

"But you still dream about that day."

Wufei let his head nod again. "I - I don't want this dream any more, Duo." He could hear exhaustion in his voice, and allowed it to excuse the childishness he also heard. "How can I make it go away?"

"I dunno, Wu-chan. We'll think of something. Go back to sleep. You need to rest. If you start dreaming, I'll wake you up."

"Thank you, Du... Maxwell." Wufei murmured, not realizing that he'd slipped a moment ago and called the boy by his first name, just tucking his head under the other boy's chin and letting exhaustion and pain pull him back into sleep. Just as he was going under, he heard the boy whisper something, but he couldn't concentrate on it now. His brain tucked the words away to ponder later.

"Sleep sweet, Wufei. Maybe I can't stop them, or the dreams... but there's always revenge."

  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the whole bit that inspired this story - taking a history class and the lecture veered off into a discussion of medieval torture devices. And then I wrote the outline of this. And then I had to make up a story to stick it in :D

Water.

Water all around him.

Black hair floating up like it was trying to reach the surface and breathe for him.

Flashes of light coming from odd directions, from beside him and above him and behind him.

Weight on his feet, and weight on the wrists that were shackled behind his back.

  
  


*

 

 

He wasn't dreaming.

  
  


*

 

 

The damn Oz prison cell was bugged - something neither of them had thought of - and his tormenters had heard every word. This morning they had come in and pulled the pilots out, taking them to a different room and showing them the large glass tank full of water, the small winch set up above it. Given them one chance to tell them everything.

Both of them had laughed in their faces.

They'd had a struggle, of course, getting him into this tank - he might be beaten and tired and hungry, but he would _never_ give in without a fight! - and he and Maxwell both had some lovely new bruises.

Happily, so did their interrogators.

Not that it mattered. Two hunger-weakened, unarmed, heavily bound boys were no match for a dozen of Oz's strongest soldiers.

So now Wufei was in the last place he ever wanted to be, underwater and with no control, weights holding him down. There was a thick leather strap around his waist, attached to a chain that was attached to the machine, and they periodically winched him up and let him breathe. Let him dangle in the air with the weights pulling his broken body into a painful backwards arch. Gave him another chance to 'tell them everything.' Gave Duo another chance to 'save his little friend.'

And when they continued to refuse, dropped him back in the water.

And the General was taking pictures of him.

Damn sick perverted bastard.

Hmm... okay, so Duo was officially a Bad Influence.

He'd never sworn like this before. It wasn't considered proper for the 'heir of the Dragon Clan.'

So what?

He didn't much care about what the Elders wanted anymore. If it wasn't for them, he wouldn't be in this mess right now.

Wouldn't have such a severe phobia for these tormenters to take advantage of.

So forget their stupid rules about swearing.

He'd swear all he wanted to.

And if he could just get loose from these shackles, he'd stuff that damn camera down the General's throat.

The man had to have used up a dozen rolls of film by now, taking pictures of Wufei on the bottom of the tank, Wufei struggling with his restraints, Wufei being pulled out of the water, being dropped back in, being held in that horribly painful reversed bow by the heavy weights, the small of his back on fire and sure he could hear his bones creaking.

He had seen him taking pictures of Duo, as well.

Duo struggling against his bonds, Duo screaming in rage and fear, his beautiful face twisted in fury.

How dare the man photograph Duo's pain?

Wufei was starting to go fuzzy, but he still knew he appreciated Duo's concern. He had a friend, after all.

Maybe more than a friend.

A thought of Heero tickled the back of his mind, but he pushed it firmly away. If he was going to die, damn it, then he was going to die with **some** amount of happiness! Forget stoic Heero I-have-the-vocabulary-of-a-rock Yuy. Let him snort his 'hn's' at someone else!

For now, he'd pretend that Duo was his.

And he was Duo's.

Surely the gods would forgive a little fantasy like that from a dying man, huh?

Wufei was under no illusions. He was going to die, and he was going to die soon.

Unless some miracle took place.

If they didn't drown him, they were going to break his back. It hurt worse every time they winched him up.

And they were winching him up more and more often, because he was at the end of his stamina and the amount of time he could hold his breath had become pitifully short.

Some warrior he'd turned out to be. Captured so easily, killed so effortlessly.

He could almost hear the Elders lecturing him.

Maybe, in whatever heaven or hell he was sent to, the gods would be kind enough to keep the Elders away.

If it wasn't too much to ask?

Wufei realized he was drifting into unconsciousness and fought it. He might be resigned to dying, if it wasn't for one little thing.

Well, one major thing.

He didn't want Duo to have to watch.

He'd realized, about two hours into this lovely experience, that he rather liked the other boy. Maybe even... Well, he wasn't going to lie to himself anymore and pretend that Maxwell... that Duo was just an annoying lunatic with beautiful hair and eyes, that he occasionally liked to spend time with.

Duo was special.

And Wufei didn't want him to have anything else to suffer through nightmares over.

Not ever again.

Not if he could help it.

Of course, he wasn't very sure, at **all** , that he was going to be able to help this. His lungs were getting weaker and weaker, even when they pulled him up into the blessed air he could barely struggle in a breath.

Oh, they were pulling him up now. He tried his best not to cry out at the hot misery in his spine. It would pull water into his lungs if he did.

That had already happened twice, and coughing it up had hurt more than anything he'd ever imagined.

His stomach broke the surface of the water first, then his body and his knees and his head. He opened his mouth and tried to gulp in much-needed air, but the pain was choking him.

He could hear Duo screaming at the General, at the interrogators, then pleading with him to keep breathing, just keep breathing, please Wu, don't die. Don't let them win.

Don't leave me.

_'I won't, Duo... I won't let them... I'll do my best...'_

A few, shallow, heaving breaths, each one sending bolts of searing agony down his backbone, down his badly straining arms and legs.

He couldn't see very well anymore, his vision was blurry and the flashes of light were very disorienting. He couldn't tell what was real and what was a shadow burned onto his retinas.

Duo had stopped screaming.

And they weren't lowering him back into the water.

The flashes of light were gone.

And was that gunfire?

Hmm, yes, it certainly seemed to be. Interesting, he wondered who was shooting. The weights on his arms and legs were making him swing slightly, like a pendulum, and his vision was full of blurry streaks of the room. He couldn't tell what was going on.

The swinging was making him sick. He could feel the nausea in his stomach, the burn of acid at the back of his throat but he didn't have anything to throw up.

The pain in his back stopped being hot and turned cold.

That was worse.

A sharp, metallic 'ping' and he was abruptly underwater again, sinking back to the bottom of the tank, but the strap was gone from his waist. His mind calmly analyzed the data, decided a random shot had severed the chain. Or maybe not random, perhaps someone was going to make sure he drowned?

Nice of them. He was sure it would be less painful than slowly breaking in half.

The weights hit the bottom of the tank with matching dull thumps, and his body settled down gently after them. He could still see flashes through the glass walls, but they were the sharp, reddish flares of gunfire and not the yellow-white flash of a camera.

Something small - several somethings - went zinging through the water above him and the front wall of the tank shattered, glass flying and water gushing everywhere. Wufei's body tried to follow its sudden flow but the weights held him in place. He was left lying on his side, arms and legs bent behind him, gasping for air in about an inch of water.

The gunfire ceased.

Someone was running toward him - more than one someone, but he couldn't focus to see who it was.

But the hands that grasped him were gentle, the voices that babbled around him were concerned, so it couldn't be his tormentors.

How nice. But who was it?

He forced his fuzzy consciousness to make his hearing work, forget his eyesight for now, and he suddenly recognized the words and voices around him.

"...fifty pound weights?! Allah! And look at him... what did they do to him?"

Quatre. Well, what do you know?

Gentle hands on his chest, trailing over the pattern of welts left by one soldier's belt, down over his ribs and over his stomach, trying not to hurt him as they checked for deeper, hidden damage.

That would be Trowa.

And the one standing silently over them, gun raised and ready if any attackers should come through the door would be Heero, even though he couldn't make out much more than a blurry outline.

Someone was working away at the shackles on his wrists and ankles, the ones holding him to those twice-damned weights, and he ought to know who it was... And then the familiar arms that were wrapping around him and lifting him, those would be Duo's, and he was very thankful for the other hands that were pressed firmly against the small of his back. They were keeping the agony at bay, and he heard someone who sounded very far away speak in a worried voice about fractures but he didn't care and he knew Duo was strong but he wasn't strong enough to carry him out of here, and oh, he was being handed, rather reluctantly, over to someone else.

Smelled like Heero, and surprisingly enough, his arms felt friendly, and he remembered Duo's words from those far away days when they were happily preparing for this mission in their safe little safehouse...

_'You're our friend, whether you realize it or not...'_

Seemed to be true.

Would wonders never cease?

Someone was wrapping something firm and comforting around his waist, bracing his aching back, and he would have liked to thank them, but the words died before they even reached his throat.

Because darkness was calling to him.

And he felt safe enough to go.


	10. Chapter 10

_Water._

_Water..._

_Where was the water?_

_Why was he sitting in the middle of a drained pool?_

_And the other pilots sitting with him, all sipping politely at china cups full of neon green tea._

_There was a faceless waiter moving in constant endless circles around them, tossing sugar cookies shaped like Gundams into their laps until each boy was half-buried in them._

_This had to be the strangest tea party he'd ever been to._

  
  


"Wufei..."

He woke up to warmth, and a gentle hand stroking his face. "Nightmare?"

"...no. Just... very strange."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I don't need to." He rolled over and pressed his face against warm, smooth skin. A chuckle sounded above him, and lean arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"I never figured you for a cuddler, Wu-chan."

"Shut up." Wufei growled against the skin, and it shuddered under the warmth of his breath.

A hand descended onto his back, rubbing soothing circles just above his waist in a caress that was now so familiar.

"It doesn't hurt anymore." Wufei felt the need to grumble, even though the gentle motion felt so good and he loved it. Never wanted it to stop.

"I know. But I like to do it anyway."

Wufei lifted eyes like deep, dark chocolate and gazed into pools of violet-blue.

He would never get used to waking up to Duo.

He wasn't sure he ever wanted to.

  
  


*

  
  


The first time he woke up, after falling unconscious in Heero's arms, he'd been in a hospital bed and Sally Po - damn onna, she drove him crazy with her fussing! - was hovering over him. He had known he was in the hospital and that he wouldn't be seeing the others until he was well enough to leave - they would be hiding in a new safehouse, they couldn't risk visiting him. He'd had borderline pneumonia and his lungs were severely strained, so he wore an oxygen mask and his back was one big throbbing ache.

Six hairline fractures of the vertebrae at the small of his back.

There was no damage to his spinal cord, for which he was very grateful. The rest of his injuries he had considered merely topical, just an irritant.

They'd healed quickly. He was a Gundam pilot, after all. His back had taken a bit longer.

He'd spent a few weeks in that bed, putting in good time terrorizing the nurses. It would have been too boring to exist, otherwise. The only interesting thing that happened was when he got a plain manila envelope in the mail, no return address and no letter but it was full of 8x10 pictures.

The first was of the shattered glass tank where he'd had such a _fun_ experience. Duo and Trowa were standing in front of it, grinning at the camera. They must have stayed behind, after Heero carried him out.

The next picture was of the winch, with a certain fuming General tied to the hook by his feet, hanging upside down with his face turning an interesting shade of red.

Next was a picture of a pile of film canisters. There were at least two dozen.

Next was Trowa and Duo pulling the film out of the canisters in long strips, while the General was shouting at them in the background.

Then the two pilots were wrapping the General up like a mummy in those same filmstrips.

By this time Wufei was snickering almost uncontrollably.

There was also a sheet of newspaper; the front page of one of the most widely-read publications in existence. It was dated only a few days earlier, with a lovely close-up picture of the film-mummified General. The headlines and story were all about the 'respected Oz General' who had been found like this after an anonymous tip, with a box set below him - a box that contained _thousands_ of pictures of underage boys in 'revealing costumes.' The General had been unable to deny they were his, since he'd had the poor judgement to pose with the boys in over half of them.

The man's career was ruined - half the world and colonies were disgusted with him.

The other half was laughing at him.

Wufei was quite sure the man would have preferred to be shot.

The dose of humor had helped him concentrate on his healing - within three weeks Sally had been forced to release him, giving an ecstatic Quatre, who had come to pick him up, strict orders to make him take it easy.

Quatre had cheerfully replied that it would be no problem, earning himself a glare from Wufei.

But the blond had been right - he hadn't been able to stir without a pilot glaring at him, watching over him like four hens with just one chick. It started with Duo opening the car door when they got to the new safehouse and helping him out like he was made of glass, and it hadn't stopped yet.

Even though it had been months.

The first time he'd woken in his own bed, Duo had been curled up next to him.

Very odd, because he'd gone to sleep alone.

But he wasn't going to complain.

When the violet eyes opened and the other boy smiled at him, Wufei had taken his heart in his hands and asked, "Doesn't Heero mind you being here?"

And Duo had smiled and leaned closer, resting his forehead against Wufei's. "Heero and I aren't together. He's just my best friend. His interests lay... elsewhere. C'mon, Wu, you know me and Hee-chan would kill each other if we tried to have a relationship. Besides, he knows I love you. All of the others do."

And Wufei had been startled into silence.

Duo had grinned, and then kissed him.

He wasn't too startled to kiss back.

  
  


*

  
  


And he'd found out exactly where Heero's interests lay, when he'd moved his things into the same room as Quatre and Trowa.

Apparently the three boys shared some... interests.

Duo had smirked at him with an I-told-you-so look.

Wufei had just snickered.

  
  


*

  
  


So Wufei and Duo had shared a room, and held each other in the only truly loving embrace either of them had ever known, and Duo had rubbed Wufei's back gently when he thought the ache would drive him insane.

All the other pilots had watched over him carefully as he began to walk without the cane, as he started gingerly doing his exercises and his katas again, making sure he didn't hurt himself, making sure he took it slow.

Helping him when he needed it.

Quatre ruled over his medication and his diet with an iron hand.

Trowa found him staring at the small pond he'd discovered while out walking alone, and gently took his hand and led him away.

Heero calmly switched out the pilot's chair in Nataku with one he designed and built himself, with special padding and extra support that cradled his lower back. He'd been able to go on missions much sooner than anyone had expected.

Duo held him at night when his nightmares woke him, covered in cold sweat and shaking like a leaf in high winds.

And he returned the favor, when Duo woke up screaming for Wufei to breathe.

  
  


*

  
  


He stirred, pulling himself more firmly out of his sleepy memories.

Because Duo's hand had wandered a little lower than his back with those 'soothing' circles.

They weren't so soothing anymore.

"Duo..." he whispered, moving ever closer to the warmth of the other boy, his own hands coming up to stroke the lean, firm chest, to tweak a small rosy nipple.

Duo moaned softly and pulled him tight against him, bringing their groins into close contact.

They had yet to take this 'all the way', because Duo was terrified of hurting Wufei. The Chinese boy insisted he was fine until he was blue in the face, but Duo wouldn't budge.

That didn't mean they hadn't made love - just that no penetration had been involved and Duo insisted on doing most of the work.

Not that the braided boy minded. To Wufei's vast surprise, he hadn't seemed to be able to get enough of touching his bronze skin, of exploring his body, of bringing him to the peak of ecstasy with his hands and his mouth. Always carefully, holding slim hips in place with both hands or making his lover sit back against the headboard, in no real position to thrust.

With pillows behind his back like some crippled old grandpa...

Duo laughed when he said that. Told him that even though he grumbled like an old man, he didn't look much like one.

Wufei whacked him with one of the aforementioned pillows.

Even now, almost four months after the others had broken them out of that base, and two months after Wufei had started going on missions again, Duo made sure that Wufei was on top and pressed one hand firmly against the base of his spine.

After removing both of their boxers, of course.

Wufei spent a few glorious moments just enjoying the feeling of skin on skin, of being cradled in Duo's smooth warm thighs and strong arms. Enjoyed exploring the delicious body beneath him, searching out the spots that made his partner whimper in bliss. Enjoyed his lover's free hand, that was stroking his shoulder and playing with copper-colored nipples and dropping down to add more friction to both of their erections. Enjoyed the gentle thrusting his koi was **finally** allowing him to do, until that friction got to be too much and they both cried out in fulfillment.

And Duo tugged him down and tight against him, one hand fumbling for the moistened wipes they kept on the night stand and cleaning them both up.

Wufei let him, and wrapped his arms around his neck, silently vowing to take things further next time, to finally feel Duo inside him. To finally feel himself in Duo. To know that each fully belonged to the other...

Because he loved the crazy idiot. He didn't know why, and he didn't care.

But he never wanted to be away from him.

He fell back to sleep with a smile on his face.

  
  


*

  
  


_Water._

_Water all around him._

_Black hair floating in a cloud around his face._

_Flashes of light from the surface, so far above him._

_A dark shadow moving toward him, and a familiar face smiling at him._

_Hands grasping his, and his hands were free, not bloody and not bound._

_Rising up through the water, towards those tantalizing flashes of sunlight and their promise of air._

_And the water beneath was dark and deep and full of terror, and the sunlight above was so very far away._

_But there was someone here now, helping him to swim up._

  
  


~owari~


End file.
